


No One Else (But You)

by x_yehet_pcy



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Canon Universe, ChanSoo Week, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-07
Packaged: 2018-11-09 18:42:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11110572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x_yehet_pcy/pseuds/x_yehet_pcy
Summary: In which Kyungsoo and Chanyeol haven't kissed in a very long time, and it's neither sweet nor bitter. Or maybe it's both.





	No One Else (But You)

**Author's Note:**

> this was written january this year and i love angsty kisses

Kyungsoo will try to remember to thank his lucky stars later if this conversation goes well. He finally has Chanyeol alone.

And unaware, too. He fights back the chuckle that threatens to spill out of his lips when Chanyeol's form jumps slightly from the shock when Kyungsoo slams his door closed.

Besides, chuckling isn't entirely appropriate at the moment, what with Chanyeol's eyes going wide when they lock with Kyungsoo's, only to quickly avert from Kyungsoo's gaze.

Ridiculous, really, if Chanyeol is going to be acting like he didn't just see Kyungsoo when Kyungsoo has literally locked the two of them in this room-- that suddenly feels too small, but whatever, Kyungsoo decides. Chanyeol doesn't have a chance to escape now. Not this time.

"You've been ignoring me." Kyungsoo doesn't have to phrase it like it's a question. He knows it's true.

But apparently, Chanyeol doesn't, because he denies it. "I haven't."

Kyungsoo knows it's a little childish, but, "You have."

"I said I haven't!"

Kyungsoo is a little taken aback that Chanyeol raised his voice, but he can see how Chanyeol's eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes are already a little wet, and he accounts that to their mutual frustration. "And now you're even sulking and lashing out on me, wow," Kyungsoo says, attempting to sound uninterested, just to mask that little twinge of pain that made his chest sting.

"I'm not--"

"Don't you think," Kyungsoo interrupts, trying to come closer only to have Chanyeol step back. "Don't you think we have too little time together already as it is that I wouldn't notice you're angry?"

Because it's true. They barely have enough time to get each other alone anymore, and even around the other members Chanyeol hasn't been his usual bright self with Kyungsoo. No annoying  _Kyungsoo-yah_ s and no overly loud laughter over something that isn't even  _that_  funny and no attempts at putting his arm around Kyungsoo's shoulder or pressing himself against Kyungsoo's side.

"So now it's my fault?"

"What is?" At this point, Kyungsoo is still trying not to let his frustration get to him, knowing letting his out could trigger Chanyeol's, as well, but it's getting more difficult when Chanyeol falls to sit at the edge of his bed. "I just want you to tell me what's wrong."

Because Kyungsoo  _doesn't_  know what's wrong. He has a vague idea here and there, but nothing will settle his heart down more than Chanyeol actually telling him what it really is.

Kyungsoo's already had enough of hurting Chanyeol without him knowing in the past. He can't have that anymore.

"You're smart, aren't you?"

It's an accusation more than a compliment, and Kyungsoo can't fight it when he raises his voice now, too. "How should I know what you're mad about?"

"I don't know," Chanyeol spits sarcastically. "Why don't you go ask your script, since it's the only thing I ever see you holding anymore."

There's a bitterness in his voice that makes everything click, and Kyungsoo wonders why it's taken him Chanyeol getting mad at this very moment to realize what it's actually about.

"So it's about my acting again."

Again, it isn't a question. But Chanyeol still answers him, denies it.

"It isn't about your  _acting_ , Kyungsoo--"

And for some reason, it just makes Kyungsoo unreasonably angry, makes him want to say things he doesn't know he'll mean, just to make Chanyeol see that it isn't just him that has been feeling this way.

"What, you've been acting, too." Kyungsoo closes his eyes, remembering what he'd seen in the group chat, and in the random articles online. The first time he'd heard about Chanyeol having gotten the role for his drama, he'd been so excited that not even the blurry pictures of him with a girl made him feel bad. But now that they're talking about acting, he suddenly can't keep it in. "I've even seen that picture of your kiss with that girl--"

"What--" Chanyeol's  _finally_ looking at him, and now he even has an accusatory finger pointing at Kyungsoo. He'll take what he can get. " _You're_  the one who got a movie kiss first!"

"I kissed an  _umbrella_."

"And in that web drama?" Chanyeol's voice may have gotten quieter now, but there's no mistaking the negativity in it.

"So we  _did_  kiss--"

"How many times was that even?" Kyungsoo honestly can't remember, honestly doesn't really give a fuck about it now. "And how many takes for each--"

"Chanyeol--"

"I mean--"

And now they're fighting about on-screen kisses and it doesn't make sense anymore and Kyungsoo is this close to breaking. "What? And what about you?" Kyungsoo can't help it anymore. "What about that older woman?" If Chanyeol can accuse him of something as pointless as this, then surely, Kyungsoo can, too. "You don't expect me to believe a kiss that long was only a one-take thing--"

"It  _was_  a one-take thing--"

"Yeah, sure," Kyungsoon spits back. "And that pulling back and smiling was part of the script, too, right?"

Chanyeol's defense comes in the form of another accusation. "Now, who's overreacting?"

The silence that follows allows for both of them to catch their breaths-- god knows how much this conversation is already taking out of both of them.

Chanyeol is still holding back tears and Kyungsoo wants to tell him that he's unfair, because why is he the one on the verge of crying when he's the one who's been rejecting all of Kyungsoo's attempts to spend time with him in the already little chance they have to, up to the point of ignoring Kyungsoo? Why is he the one on the verge of crying when he's the one who doesn't want to talk it out properly?

Kyungsoo walks over to Chanyeol's desk, rolls the computer chair around and sits on it. This conversation has turned into an unwanted confrontation and it's exhausting.

He musters up enough energy to roll over to where Chanyeol is sitting on his bed, so that they're face to face.

"Listen, Chanyeol," he starts, considerably more calmly than before this whole thing started. "You know how much I hate kissing scenes."

"And I hate them, too!"

"But you know how much acting means to me." Chanyeol obviously isn't having any of his attempts at toning things down, but Kyungsoo has to try and continue anyway. They both have to be making sense here. "I can't just  _not_  take a role because I have to kiss some girl. Even if I have to kiss a guy, I probably would still play my role--" Chanyeol flinches at the prospect of Kyungsoo even kissing another guy. "I love acting, you know that."

"And I love  _you_ , you know that."

"And I love you  _too_ , you know that, Chanyeol," Kyungsoo answers back, "So why are you angry?"

"Because why don't  _I_  get to kiss you anymore?" Chanyeol's answer comes quickly, like he knows now and he's known this entire time why he's so angry, like he's been waiting for Kyungsoo to ask him, because he can't be the one to tell Kyungsoo what's wrong without Kyungsoo forcing it out of him.

And now that he's admitted it, Kyungsoo doesn't know what to say. "I--"

"You go around," Chanyeol starts, taking a deep breath, what he's going to say next obviously taking him too much of his courage to say out loud. "You go around doing pasta kisses, and sharing warm cuddly hugs and-- and you're even doing  _fucking aegyo_ , Kyungsoo!" All of it still sounds like accusations to Kyungsoo's ears, but the next thing Chanyeol ekes out is weaker. "But then when you come home-- when you come home to me... You aren't even  _home_."

"But.." Kyungsoo eyes the music sheets hidden under the script that Chanyeol had put down at the end of his bed when Kyungsoo apparently shocked him by locking them in here. "But you've been busy, too." He thinks about all the times he'd gotten home to the dorms and Chanyeol wasn't even around, held up in his studio for a collaboration or in some other filming venue when his schedules ran late. He repeats, "You've been busy, too, so don't blame me."

"I'm not blaming you! I'm not blaming anyone!" It doesn't sound like that to Kyungsoo, honestly. "I support you with my whole heart-- I'm your number one fan, in case you've forgotten! Hell, I'm your fucking  _best friend_!"

How long has it been, even, since Chanyeol's referred to himself as Kyungsoo's best friend? Why does it feel like it's been too long?

"And I know you support me, too. We're mature and we're professionals and we're doing good, Kyungsoo!" At this, he turns his body so that he can pull Kyungsoo closer by his chair, hands scrambling to hold Kyungsoo's in both of his. "I'm proud of where we are and even prouder of where we're going."

Kyungsoo closes his eyes, because suddenly, being touched by Chanyeol again, finally, even just like this, after so long, is overwhelming him.

"But.." Kyungsoo's heart breaks at how broken Chanyeol suddenly sounds. "But for the times that I miss you, Kyungsoo." Chanyeol's hands come up instead to hold Kyungsoo's face in his hands. "For the times that I miss you, what do I do?"

And when Kyungsoo opens his eyes, he sees that Chanyeol doesn't only look or sound broken. He  _feels_  broken, and confused, and desperate, and done, and longing, and  _hurt_. Like he really doesn't know what to do.

And Kyungsoo's felt all of this, too, still feels it at this very moment. His chest feels tight and he honestly doesn't know what to do, either.

He's just as much in a loss as Chanyeol is.

But the first thing that comes to mind is what he blurts out, because he can't take it anymore when the first tears fall from Chanyeol's eyes.

"You.." Chanyeol opens his eyes from having closed them when he's started crying. "You ask for a kiss."

Kyungsoo's hands reach up to hold the ones Chanyeol has cradling his face gently, brings them down so he can hold them as he rests them on Chanyeol's lap. "Or just steal one. You don't have to ask."

Chanyeol's inhale turns into a hiccup instead, but he's nodding, closing his eyes.

"When you miss me, and I'm here.. Kiss me." Kyungsoo closes his eyes now, too. "Or I kiss you."

Slowly, slowly-- it's almost exactly like their first time with how carefully they're leaning in. It's like their first time, like how they'd just thrown out frustrated confessions of what they'd both thought was unrequited love, before they realized that talking was the only solution, and then that actions can speak louder than words, especially when words just can't make sense.

And when their lips meet, Chanyeol lets out a shuddering breath right against Kyungsoo's mouth, and then Kyungsoo's own cheeks are wet from Chanyeol's tears.

There aren't fireworks, no low simmering in his gut, no bursts of flames of desire. It's just his heart, falling into a steady beat, his chest filling with warmth-- and he can only hope that Chanyeol is feeling the same way.

Now that he's here, with Chanyeol, whose hands have fisted tightly into the fabric of Kyungsoo's pants, with Chanyeol, whose unable to breathe properly with how he refuses to pull back even an inch to inhale, with Chanyeol, whose lips feel like heaven and hell at the same time.. Now that he's here, with Chanyeol, he realizes he can't even remember when the last time they've kissed was, realizes that when Chanyeol had said  _why don't_ I _get to kiss you anymore_ , Kyungsoo has been wondering why, all this time, too.

This is when Kyungsoo brings up hands he hadn't even realized were shaking, and he hesitates, afraid of touching Chanyeol back, like it might break this moment-- but Chanyeol's comfort is more important than that, so his thumbs wipe away the tears that have stained Chanyeol's beautiful face.

When Kyungsoo settles with just holding Chanyeol's face in his hands, gently, carefully, like he treasures Chanyeol the most because he  _does_ , he kisses Chanyeol some more.

And Chanyeol only presses back even harder, like he can't ever stand the thought of parting from Kyungsoo. And Kyungsoo can totally understand the feeling, if only because he feels it, too.

When Kyungsoo finally pulls back for much needed air, instead of chasing his lips, Chanyeol leans as close as he possibly can, resting his forehead against Kyungsoo's shoulder. He feels Chanyeol's breath, warm and wet as he puffs them out irregularly against the exposed skin of Kyungsoo's neck. Kyungsoo presses a soft kiss to Chanyeol's temple as he feels Chanyeol's arms wrapping around him, so tightly that he's almost pulling Kyungsoo off of his chair.

Being in Chanyeol’s arms like this gives him a kind of comfort he knows he will never ever get from anything or anyone else.

"When I miss you," Chanyeol whispers now, calm and collected, with traces of little hitches to his breath from crying. Kyungsoo never wants to make him cry ever again. "Tell me you miss me, too, even if I don't say it."

He doesn't ask, anymore, how the hell he's supposed to know when Chanyeol is missing him or not, because the truth is that they'll both always,  _always_  know.

"I always miss you, Chanyeol."


End file.
